Hey all ! Sorry I didn't finish this story ! I'm a bit off schedule hehe.. So, I want to say thanks to ili atiqah for letting me join this blog ! :) I don't know how to describe this story whether it's a HORROR or COMEDY or whatever ! So, erm, feel free to comment yeah!
Here's the characters:
Elissa (Main char)
Stephan (Elissa's Lil Ex)
Sally (Stephan's Lil Sister)
HERE HOW IT STARTS.....
It's Friday night. It's almost 7:30 PM,but still no sign of daddy and mommy. They went jungle tracking at the 'DEATH MOUNTAIN' last weekend. They say they want to try to take risk. I've warned them. I did. But they still gnarly want to go. So I gave up stopping them to go there. They told me they will be back here, at home, at 5. But still, they're not home. I don't know. So I took the spagetti that my parents save it in the fridge. There's meatballs yay! So I put the spagetti with meatballs in the microwave and heat it. It was delicious. All the sudden my phone rings. Stephan message-ed me. "Elissa,could you babysite my little sister? I need to buy some stuff in the supermarket and my big sister is going out dating! Please help me :(". That's what he says in the message. Since I don't have anything to do,I guess I have to say 'YES'. So I replied the message. "Of course.". So I took my blue jeans shorts and my blue jacket and wore it. I took my favourite sneakers and took my car keys.
I drive to Stephan's house. About 10 minutes,I've reach his house. Stephan was standing infront of his house. "Thanks so much,Elissa!" And he quickly get into his green car and drove to the supermarket which is far away from his house. Sally open the door and greet me. So Sally and I watched the TV for a few hours. I look at Sally and said "Sally,where is your brother?" curiously. "He's dating. With Angeline or something.". So he lied. Damn him. I groans a bit and stares at the TV with a scary stare.
*TUP!* All the sudden black out. Sally screams because she scared of darkness. I pat her and hug her so she will calm down and know I was with her. So I said to her "It's fine,I'm here. Erm,where's the flashlight?". "I don't know. Brother Stephan usually put it around the house so I don't really know. Let's call him! I'm scared." Sally answered. So I dialed Stephan's number on my phone and called him. "Stephan! There was a black out. I want to find the main switch but it's too dark. Where did you put your flashlight?" I asked. "Oh dear! hmm,It's in my room. The flashlight is in a small box under my bed." "Okay.I hope IT IS THERE!" I said. So Sally and I went up the stairs carefully and went to Stephan's room.
"Oh gosh! Have you ever cleaned your room?" Stephan's room was messy indeed. Socks here and there. His T-shirt's and other stuff."Hehe,nope. Too lazy to do that."she answered. I only grins. "Let's find the flash light. I don't want to stay in the dark!" cried Sally. So we both enter the room and start searching. Then I saw something. I blinked and look at it carefully while Sally is busy searching for the flashlight. "Hey Stephan. When did you bought this huge stuff toy? It looks like a clown. Cool! But kinda creepy." I told him. Amazed but scared a lil' bit. "Huh?" He questioned. "What stuff toy? I don't have any stuff toys." He answered me with a bit anxious. "Really! I'm looking at it right now! Are you trying to lie again?" "NO! seriously! I've never BOUGHT any HUGE STUFF TOY clown or somethinf! Are you getting 'the crazies'??" Stephan sounded very worried. "Elissa! I found the flash light!"cried Sally. And all the sudden the lights turned on again. "Erm,That's weird.." I said. All the sudden Sally shouted really loudly "ELISSA! DUCK!". So I duck-ed. "what?" I asked. "THE CLOWN! IT'S MOVING!" Sally answered. I was like "HUH?!" then I crawl to Sally and saw, the clown, it was moving, with an ax in the clown's hand. I think the clown is going to kill me! NO! It wants to kill us! So me and Sally screamed.
"ELISSA? ELISSA! Don't make a joke,Elissa! I am starting to get worried! ELISSA!" shouted Stephan on the phone. *POK!* My phone crushed by the clown. The clown starts laughing. At that time, we both run, run as fast as we can. The clown chased us. "ARGH!! RUN SALLY RUN!!" we screamed loudly. The clown throws his ax directly to us. The ax didn't hit us but it damage the furnitures in the house. GOD! what's wrong with this damn clown?! The clown able to run faster and catched Sally. "SALLY!!" I cried. "LET HER GO!!" I told the clown. My eyes can't believe it. The clown cuts Sally's head. Blood splattered. "Sally!!" I cried. The clown drops Sally's head and both Sally's head and body falls on the floor. "You...You monster!!!" I schouted angrily at the clown. Now the clown starts chasing me. "AAAA!!.." I screamed. I don't want to die! I don't want to die yet!
*Clacks* "Elissa?" called out Stephan. I stopped running and I forgot about the clown at the second. Without I've noticed, the clown stabbed me in the back and killed me. I saw my blood splatteres around the room and on the floor. I fell down. I'm dead. The clown took both of Sally's body and head under Stephan's room and mine too. The clown hides behind Stephan's bedroom door. "Elissa,I don't like this joke. Elissa,come out!" then Stephan went to his room and there he saw Sally's hand under his bedroom. "I see you!" Stephan giggles. But as soon as he pulled Sally's hand,he saw there's no was no head at all. He screams. And the clown took this time to kill Stephan by stabbing Stephan at the back. Fortunedly, Stephan jumps on the bed and the clown missed. The clown cut Stephan's head off. And it isn't pretty. The clown put all of our bodies under Stephans bed neatly and wipes all the blood which splatters on the walls and floor.
As soon as the clown finished doing that,the clown walked out Stephan's house and went to the next house and the next house to kill more people. So be careful, because he might be in your house tonight.
7 comments:
after a few hours I finished it! WOOHOO! Sorry for the mistakes hehe...
this story is lack of emotion and suspense. But, way to go!
You a lot grammar error. But dun worry, try and improve. The most important thing is to check and edit what you wrote.
PS. an author must buy a notebook. lol! so u dun hav to remember every single thing u want to write.
Or you could just post a small summary of the story to use as a guide. That's what I usually do.
I agree with Ili. There is a lack of emotion, suspense and description. The story is overall okay though. ^^
As Ili said, there are a few grammar errors here and there. Perhaps some of them may be a mistake. You should reread your story and check it over.
~Haha, I'm guessing it's my turn now. To fit in with our two stories, I'll also do a 'Horror'. It'll probably be bad though. :P
Oh, and remember to indent once someone talks.
okay. thanks guys! :) I am having a fever when I'm writing this story. Sorry for the errors! hehe
I like the title .it's sounds scaring me.hehehe.....
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